


#stopcobra2k15

by thefourteenthdarkone



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Next-Gen, Ridiculousness, and ebay, it's really just a oneshot for their daughter, natsu is mentioned - Freeform, ritualistic sacrifice is involved, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-03 16:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5298473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefourteenthdarkone/pseuds/thefourteenthdarkone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cobra's trying to convince their nine-year-old daughter that if you sell part of your soul you can get a baby off eBay. Lucy is unamused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	#stopcobra2k15

**Author's Note:**

> for a friend's birthday  
> i love this pairing more then i should  
> this should be longer lol

Lucy had dreaded this day, even though she knew, one day, it would have to come. She was well aware of the fact that she was one of _those_ mothers, the ones who wouldn’t hesitate to enter their fifteen-year-old in mother/daughter costume contests where the prize was a bag of candy and the rest of the contestant were five-year-olds and their beauty pageant moms. However, a part of her still bemoaned the final loss of her child’s innocence (though considering she was a part of Fairy Tail, Lucy wasn’t sure how much there was left, and was honestly surprised it had lasted this long).

“Mom, where do babies come from?” nine-year-old Kayla asked, tugging on the small silver hoop that pierced her right ear while looking up at her mother. “I heard Angela talking about it and when I asked her she just started cackling hysterically, and I _can’t_ have Angela knowing something I don’t!”

Angela was Gray and Sorano’s thirteen-year-old teenager. Kayla seemed to consider her part of a one-sided rivalry, and so made a point of hanging out wherever the older girl was and retorting everything she said with some snappy response. Angela, therefore, made a point of rubbing each and every bit of knowledge she had by being older in Kayla’s face. The fact that she was talking about this particular thing in front of _Lucy’s_ child meant that Lucy and Gray were going to have _a talk_. 

Either way, Kayla was now giving her a very inquisitive look, and Lucy tried for a smile. “Um, well, that’s something you don’t really need to know right now…..”

“But Angela knows it and I don’t,” Kayla whined, and Lucy sighed internally. She really needed to stop letting Happy help babysit Kayla, he had obviously taught her all the tricks to getting Lucy to do whatever she wanted. Damn cat, she’d get him later. 

“Well,” Lucy began, deciding to go with the classic, timeless, and totally-wouldn’t-fool-Kayla version, “when a mommy and daddy love each other very much….”

“They sell part of their souls on eBay and get a baby in return.” Cobra interjected, sliding into the kitchen from the front door area. Kayla’s eyes widened, and Lucy let out a long-suffering sigh. 

“Erik." 

“What? I’m serious!” he protested, giving her a completely innocent look. “You just go online, make sure you have a soul, and _click_!” He mimed a clicking motion in the air for emphasis.

“Don’t listen to him.” Lucy told her daughter, rolling her eyes. “Now, what actually happens is that-” 

While Lucy struggled to figure out how to explain without inviting any awkward conversations or follow-up questions, Kayla was much more interested in her father’s explanation.

“And what if you _don’t_ have a soul?” she questioned, bouncing over to where her father was standing. “How do you get a baby then?”

“Well, you can ask Jesus.” Cobra told her very seriously. “Or Satan. Sometimes if you make the proper ritualistic sacrifices they’ll listen, but eBay works much better.”

“Ritualistic sacrifices?” 

“There will be _no_ ritualistic sacrifices in this house!” Lucy interrupted, putting her foot down. “I get enough of this with Natsu trying to teach my daughter how to use curses and summon demons, we are not summoning Satan!”

“I like curses!” Kayla exclaimed happily

Cobra was barely holding in laughter. “What about Jesus?” 

“You both are impossible.” Lucy announced dryly. “Kayla, you cannot get babies by selling your soul or summoning anything.”

The girl crossed her arms. “Then what _do_ you do?”

Lucy flailed.

Cobra smirked. “Your mother just doesn’t want you going and getting your own babies, she thinks you’re not responsible enough. Want to prove her wrong?” Kayla looked ecstatic. 

“I can get my own siblings!!” she declared with great excitement, dragging Cobra outside to draw magic Satan/Jesus-summoning circles. As they passed Lucy, Cobra whispered in her ear, “Tonight we better make sure she gets that sibling, hmm?”

It took a few seconds for that to sink in, and by then Cobra was already out of reach as Lucy’s cheeks flushed and she ran out the door, chasing him. _“ERIK!”_

If Kayla had heard that, Lucy was going to smack him.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is [thefourteenthdarkone](http://thefourteenthdarkone.tumblr.com) if anyone's interested~


End file.
